I wonder how many tears a person can cry in a year? How many bottles did you, my God, use to collect them as they fell from our eyes? I wonder this on the eve of the home going of my daughter Mendy Jill.
The bible says that this painful day for our family does not escape my Lord’s notice as I know He cares for us His children.
You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. Psalm 56:8
Many times I have dared to imagine how you, sweet Mendy Lou, are doing, silly me, only to remember where you are. You suffer no more, you cry no more since our loving Lord has dried your tears. While our tears still flow and are collected here on earth your eyes are dried by the Savior’s own hand, forever.
You will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain for the old order of things has passed away. Revelations 21:4
In my grief and as usual, I have found a daily supply of comfort from our Lord through his Word. When my grandma died, I had never lost anyone I loved so much and I was clueless as to where to find comfort. As I paced the floor, my eyes fell upon an old family bible which I never read but was led that dark, night to cling to with all my might. I slept that night holding the fragile pages of the old book on my chest. These many years later I have thrilled at every letter of each word that has sustained me through good and bad times. John 14:1 Jesus tells me to trust my God and also trust Him (My Savior). And I do!
As I have pondered about what to write at this time, I remembered one evening that I sat with my girl, just her and me alone. The ravages of disease had taken a lot but her beautiful eyes sparkled at the thought of reading from the Holy Word. I chose Psalm 23 to share.
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. At these first few words we both raised our hands in unison. Yes, He is our gentle shepherd we agreed. We are his little flock and he leads us, even in hard times, to quiet waters and a peace only our Good Shepherd gives. He refreshes our soul, yes we both shook our heads as I remember the weariness of these draining times. Though we walk through darkness we need not fear because you are with me. I sensed she prayed this for me more than herself. We both loved that he prepares a table before us, even in the grips of pain and disease. Oh, how she glowed at remembering how surely our cup overflows and that goodness and love will follow both of us all the days of our lives and to the afterlife. And Praise the Lord we shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
I have not considered this day, this anniversary of her death a celebration but isn’t it?
