Big Mama!

Mom gives Jenna a hand to help her out of a scary spot that she found herself, while exploring!

One of the tales I tell about myself happened during a very sad time in the life of our family. My daughter, Nealy had a miscarriage and after several days of hoping this little life would make it, she lost the baby. With modern technology the whole process could be observed and it was grueling to see this precious life slip away. As to be expected, Nealy, and Tim, her husband, were very heart broken as was the whole family. I remember praying as I packed to go to Indiana. I cried as I asked him to keep his hand on them and then I said something that made me stop and almost laugh. I said Lord, just take care of them “until” I get there. Mind you, I was talking to the creator of everything, who I obviously believed could be with my daughter and listen to me at the same time and I asked him to take care of her “until” I got there. Of course, I didn’t exactly mean that but sometimes, as a mom, I act like if I could only get to them “I” could fix everything. I must be a slow learner because over and over I realize that there is really very little, in my own strength, I can solve in the lives of my kids and grandkids. In my humanness I lack the power to even protect them. The only power I possess is through Christ who strengthens me as well as my kids. But how many nights have I tossed and turned worrying, only to find that worry had changed nothing? It’s only when I let go and lift them to the throne that He can do more than I could ask or think. He can give them hope when all seems hopeless, he can strengthen them in the world that they face, he can heal their hurts, he can heal body, mind and relationships and He loves them even more than I do. If I live to be a hundred, I will always have to fight the temptation to be “Big Mama” but I am so glad that I have a Father in heaven who looks down on me with love and tells me step aside “Big Mama” “it is for this child I died and there is nothing too big for me to solve.” With a grateful heart I put them in his good hands once again trusting that that He is a Big God who promises that nothing is impossible with him.

In the bible is an account of a father who was much like me and tried to do everything on his own. His son had an evil spirit that was trying to destroy him by throwing him into the fire or into water to kill him and his father, after trying to everything on his own, came to Jesus and said “If you can do anything, take pity on us and help us”. I can just hear the frustration in Jesus’ voice when he said “If I can? “If I can?” Then said, “Everything is possible for him who believes.” The father at that said with renewed strength “I do believe; Help me overcome my unbelief”!

So when his son was healed, this Big Daddy realized that only “He Can!”! If we only believe in Him, everything is possible! Lord, help this Big Mama to overcome my unbelief!