Monday, September 26, 2011

Trust His Heart!


Today when I did my bible study in Isaiah, I was asked how much do you trust God! Of course my first thought was in the affirmative but as the questions probed deeper I could feel my heart close up a bit. Another question, what caused the level of trust you have both negative and positive? Again my heart tried to block something that I had buried deep within my heart. Do you have those places?


My mind went to a time when I was working in the ICU at St. Mary’s hospital. The hospital was extremely busy and I was working an extra shift to help with the over flow of very critical patients. I was called to a “code blue” in the Intensive Care Unit and was busy drawing blood, setting up equipment and following doctors orders for this very critical patient. As I nearly ran through the nurses station, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a large hand waving me into that room. I motioned that it would be just a minute. I went on to finish what I was doing, came out of that room and again saw that hand waving at me. You see this was not just any hand, this was the hand of my Dad! He lay in this bed, hooked to a ventilator to keep him alive. He had a lung disease called COPD that had taken away his ability to breath on his own. As this hand that I had been so familiar to me all my life, motioned for me to come to him, my heart broke to see his brokenness and pleading for help. In that painful moment, I remembered a conversation I had had with God, months previous, I said “God don’t let my dad have to die on a ventilator”, I continued “I see people everyday die that way and it is so hard, I know that he is going to die of this condition but not this way Lord!” As bitterness grew up inside me at seeing, my pleading to God not answered, tears of hurt stung my eyes, tears not only for my Dad but for that betrayal that I felt! That “WHY” that comes at times like these! As the grueling days and weeks went on my Dad finally died, still hooked to life support!


I took some time off from work for the funeral, of course, but when I returned to work I had to press down feelings as I passed by the room he had died in, as I ran into nurses and doctors who had cared for him and I even had to deal with the very same ventilator that he had spent the last days of his life hooked to. One day as I ran to get a vent for another patient, I opened the drawer and a little ball rolled to the front, it had belonged to my Dad and been evidently overlooked when the machine was cleaned. Physical therapy had given it to him to squeeze, to strengthen his weakened hands and arms. I remembered how he liked the idea of doing something to give himself strength. This man who had little control of anything else, felt a hope in squeezing this little ball.


I grabbed the ball, put it in my pocket and attended the patient that needed the vent but when I got the chance to pull it out the tears would not stop. I collapsed in a heap in the stairwell of that hospital the pain was as fresh as if my dad had just died. It made me want to hold the big hands that held it, I wanted to hug the big man who squeezed it in hopes that he would someday be strong again. That day I took the little ball home and stuck it in my drawer, but I also took my hurt and hid it deep in that “WHY” drawer of my heart!


Many years have gone by, I still have the little ball in my drawer but today I look at it in a new light! I hadn’t planned to write about the little ball but the Lord reminded me of the strength that came from that sad time in my life, the new compassion that I felt for my patients for all my working career and the love of God that was very near in a terrible time in my life. There is never a good answer to all of the “Whys” in life but I know that when I don’t understand what He is doing I can trust His heart for over and over again I read in the bible of His “unfailing” love. I love the lyrics of the song "Trust His Heart"!


God is too wise to mistaken


God is too good to be unkind


So when you don’t understand


When you don’t see His plan,


When you can’t trace His hand, trust His heart!


Isaiah 61:1 says he came to preach the good news, and bind up the brokenhearted and release from darkness the prisoners. Thank you Lord from releasing me from the darkness of my hurt! Heal that place in my heart that until now I had not brought out into the light. I praise you, Lord for that little ball that rolled into my life that day!


I love all of you who have shared my heart, weather sad or happy and I pray your heart will be blessed this day.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Is Your Porch Light On?








Two of my favorite Tricker Treaters! Well actually three!















I am counting the days until fall is really "official" because I want to decorate my house with those beautiful fall colors as well as those things I have packed away for this special season! I will dig out my gold and orange leaves and strew them with abandon! Those fall candles will be lit with fragrances such as "pumpkin pie" or "apple crisp" which will serve only to make me hungry, which means the recipes for fall yummies will have to be found also! I love it all from wiener roasts to caramel apples and isn't there just something wonderful about the crisp air and the chill of that first frost? Not to mention, by months end, we we have the fun of Halloween! Bonfires, Jack-o-lanterns and of course, those Tricker Treaters!

I remember one year that I was the only house on our side of the street to turn our porch light on! So, as you can imagine, little princesses, super heroes and devils in red suits all made a bee line to our door with their little bags in hand. Again and again we filled our candy bowl and finally ran completely out of everything! The only thing left to do was turn off our light (and hide)!

Today as I praised God for all He is doing with my writings, I was suddenly aware that I had just flipped on the porch light! The devil made a bee line for me! I suddenly felt inadequate and satan seemed to say "Who do you think you are? Do you really think those "hokey" posts on your blog makes any difference?" Along with those nagging doubts, I also felt a chill as I remembered so many people saying that when they began touching lives for Jesus, the devil laid every manner of trouble on them! The "suggestion" came to me to reevaluated and see if the insignificant things that I might be able to do would be worth the battle that Satan would wage against me.

My first response was to turn out the porch light and HIDE!

But as I opened my bible I came across a man called Gideon! Gideon had turned out the porch light and was hiding when the angel of the Lord came to him and said that he was chosen to go out against the Midianites who had oppressed his people for many years! The angel of the lord said to Gideon "the lord is with you mighty warrior! But the first words out of Gideon's mouth was "pardon me Lord" but...........! I've been there haven't you? The Lord then turned to Gideon and said, "am I not sending you?". Again Gideon replied, "pardon me my Lord" but did you happen to remember that I am really a nobody as well as my family!

The Lord answered, "I WILL BE WITH YOU, and you will strike down all the Midianites, leaving none alive." (Judges 6:16 NIV


You see, anytime you or I do something to help build the kingdom, even if we think it is insignificant, Satan gets scared and does everything he can think of to make us turn out our porch light and hide but, "pardon me" didn't the Lord say "am I not sending you, Mighty Warrior?". I WILL BE WITH YOU!






If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay posts of our ordinary lives. That's to prevent anyone from confusing God's incomparable power with us. 2 Corinthians 4:7 Message






So take that devil, my porch light is still on!







































































































Friday, September 16, 2011

Daydreamer!





I have always been a daydreamer! Today they would probably call it ADD (attention deficit disorder) and medicate me heavily! I remember even as a little girl, it was best that I not be seated by a window because out the window would go my mind, like a fluttering butterfly.



Though it has been over fifty years, I remember this day in glowing detail! I was excited about playing that game about going on a trip. You know the one “I am going on a trip and I am taking…..! The object of the game was to name something you would take with you that started with a letter of the alphabet. Naming what you would take was not the hard part, remembering what everyone before you was taking was the kicker! I must have been one of the last ones to take my turn because after listening and trying to remember for so long my mind took me somewhere else. I began to daydream!



I was brought to reality when the teacher asked me what I would take on my trip. I started “I am going on a trip and I am taking an APPLE, a BARRETT, a COOKIE and ummm, at that time I wished with all my heart that I had been listening. With an ugly face and major stink eye, the teacher blurted out "daydreaming AGAIN I see"! As you can imagine, most of my report cards said I a bad habit of "Daydreaming"! Usually DAYDREAMING was written in capital letters!

I carried this into my adult life and always had a plan, project or a dream rattling around in my head. I would think of what I would teach the kids in my Sunday School class, and imagined planting seeds that would bring them to know Christ or how I could witness to someone, I knew, who didn't know the Lord. I dreamed of how I could make my home sweeter for my family and anyone else who would come into our home. I could make a to-do list as long as my arm as I dreamed!



As I thought about this today, I realized that lately I seldom daydream. When I start to dream about something, the thought comes that it is too expensive, I'm too old or that's just a silly dream, who wants to listen to me anyway? Bam! The wet blanket of what I call "reality" promptly suffocates that dream! I write this because I think many of us are there and that the Lord is calling us out of that pit. I realized that pits are not only pits of sin but anything that the devil can use to keep us down and keep us from dreaming! Satan chides us when we pray for a lost soul, or for the revival of a lost nation " "not even in your dreams will your prayers be answered he hisses. You are dreaming of the impossible, he says!". With my feet sinking into despair, the miry clay of doubt caused me not to look up but to stare at the dark walls of the slimy pit! I had tried to climb out only to slide back down. Today I look up from this pit to my God who encourages me to daydream about the "impossible"! The God who tells us that nothing is impossible with Him! The God who waits for us to call on Him, to cry out to Him!

Read what God has said about pits from Psalm 40.



I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God. Psalm 40:1-3



I say Praise the Lord! I will dare to dream!



Once you have gotten out of the PIT and as you stand on the Rock, you are allowed to “daydream” about all He has for you! Even DAYDREAMS are possible with Him!

Sunday, September 11, 2011

"Where Were You?"




If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. 2 Chronicals 7:14


 


I have lived long enough that I have several “Where were you’s” in my life! Though some will not believe it, I just missed “Where were you when Pearl Harbor was bombed?”, “Where were you when World War II was declared” or “Where were you when you heard the war was over?” ! I do remember where I was when I heard John F. Kennedy was assassinated, Bobby Kennedy was killed as well as the announcement of the slaying of Martin Luther King! As many people alive at that time, I can transport myself back to that moment! I remember what I was doing, what I thought as well as what others were saying. It’s those times when time stops and a spotlight shines on something, that in our minds, is unimaginable. When all seems hopeless!


 


As I opened Face Book today there was a post that asked “where were you were on 9/11?” I remember exactly! Being so bored sitting at home with a bum leg, I was hobbling around “Hobby Lobby” with a cast on my leg. As the journey around my favorite store weaved toward the front of the store, I kept hearing the cashier talk to each customer as they came up about something that had happened and both the customer and the cashier would commiserate about how awful it was! At first I thought that maybe there had been some horrendous school shooting, or maybe murders in our town since that is not at all uncommon. I didn’t buy anything but went to the car and turned on the radio. When I finally got to a station that had the news, the announcer said that a plane had crashed into one of the of the World Trade Center Towers but it was not confirmed that it was terrorists! I could never have guessed what would happen in the hours to come! As many, I watched the TV nonstop because the bad news just kept coming in. The second tower was hit, both the towers collapsed, a plane crash in Pennsylvania and the Pentagon was hit! Fatalities were feared to reach into the thousands, as stories of casualties came over the airways.


The day started as usual with everyone going their own ways, me included! Many people started the day, as they normally did without a thought of God but by evening many had called out to almighty God. Accross the country, law makers, governors or judges prepared to find ways to ban God from schools, funerals and walls of court houses, but as the sun went down many were humbled and cried out to the One who they tried erase from our country.


As darkness fell on Washington, DC, members of Congress stood together on the steps of the Pentigon, while then House and Senate leaders addressed the country. Suddenly, something amazing happened as Republicans and Democrats stood together, they spontaneously began to sing “God Bless America”! I believe in that moment it wasn’t just a song but a plea for God to again bless America! We were all humbled by our vulnerability, suddenly we knew that nothing would ever be the same. America, even as great as it is, pleaded for God our creator to again bless us. 


God bless America


Land that I love.


Stand beside her, and guide her


Through the night with a light from above.


From the mountains, to the prairies,


To the oceans, white with foam.


God bless America, my home sweet home


God bless America, my home sweet home.


 

Friday, September 9, 2011

Get Some Rest Even if You Do Have a Full Plate!










"...He said to them, 'Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.'"

Mark 6:31



(NIV 1984)




 




Many years ago we had a beautiful couple to our house for dinner! The husband was a professor at Olivet University who loved the bible, God’s people and strangely enough my husband’s collection of Avon Decanter Cars His wife was a slender lady that held tight to her husband’s arm and strained to move her eyes to the one who was talking. She was blind from the ravages of diabetes, but there was no self pity on the faces of this aging couple, only a delight in one another. As we sat down to eat the husband explained to his wife what was on her plate for dinner. “Dear” he said “The chicken is at twelve o’clock, mashed potatoes at three o’clock, your corn is at six o’clock, and a wonderful homemade roll at nine o’clock!” We watched in amazement as this beautiful woman followed her husbands directions and ate as if she were sighted. What an inspiration these two people were to us as they shared their life story and their love for God. I loved that this man was in no hurry, no checking his watch, and he exuded patience. I’m sure that, as most of us, his plate was full as we often say but he had learned the art of resting in the Lord!




I think sometimes of how our plates must look to God! We very often scoop our plates full of busyiness. Instead of 12, 3, 6 and 9 we have 12:15 work at church, 1:00 help at school, 5:00 supper and so on, you get the picture. You throw in a full time job, meetings to attend and then we have those “crisis” days thrown in and we can kiss resting goodbye! We drop into bed exhausted only to start all over again in the morning. Sound familiar?




As I talk to my daughters who work inside and outside the home, I often hear “I am so busy this week I haven’t even been able to think straight”, “I said yes when I should have said no”, or “my boss so counts on me I just couldn’t say no, now I have too much on my plate”! Hit home? It certainly does to me! Before I retired “over commitment” was a constant on my plate. But unlike many of you, I seldom got it all done, which led to disappointment in myself. One of the first things to go during those times was my time with God! If I found time, it was hard to focus on anything but all I had to do, I had one eye on the bible and one eye on my to-do list.




Now days my plate is less full like that dear lady, and I hear the Lord directing me where things are as far as importance! He directs me to the Bible at seven o’clock, Prayer at three and smell the roses at six o’clock! At nine o’clock he “suggests” to me that I clean house! Or was that Larry? Frequently, he has to scrape my plate clean of worry, frustration and the kind of burdens that all of us face.




Matthew 11:28-29, "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.] Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls." (Amplified Bible)




I know that I am in a different season of life (retired) than a lot of people but the advise is still good! If you are heavy laden with things that seem impossible, give that to Him, if you are over committed give that to Him and let Him simplify what you have on your plate!




Father, Give me rest from the hassles that come into my life! Help me be refreshed with your words, let me feel your presence as I pray. Take those worries that are heavy on my shoulders and give me rest!




Praise Your Name